“My neighbours vacuum their plastic lawn”

In the robing room recently:

Opponent: “My neighbours are so boring. They never do anything. They have a plastic lawn. That says a lot about them. They borrowed my Dyson once and vacuumed it. Thing is, the Dyson was so powerful it sucked up the plastic blades of grass and pulled the glue off. Anyway last night they had some guests round who didn’t leave until four o’clock. And on a school night! I got to sleep at three o’clock.”

Booth: “If you got to sleep at three o’clock, how do you know they left at four o’clock?”

Opponent: “You’ve got me there.”


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